beginnings

I need a place to process my thoughts. I've found that to best process and analyze the things that go through my mind, it's best to write them out. I cannot always say exactly what I want to communicate, so I don't - and before you know it, the thought is gone.

I have so many incomplete thoughts. one thing that my brain has learned to overcompensate for is a lack of time - it's like everything is an emergency because before you know it, you'll die, or the world will end. seriously. there is not enough time to process every thought to completion, not enough time to read everything thoroughly. there is not enough time to do everything. there is so much competition for your time and it is a valuable commodity. or at least this is my view of the world. I think it's less extreme than I'm making it sound here. the point is, I aim to finish thoughts and draw conclusions on topics that I wouldn't otherwise give a second...well...thought.

ambition and recovery seem to be recurring themes in my life right now. there is a lot I want to do and a lot I want to recover from. in some cases, the recovery needs to happen before the ambition can be realized. recovery from what? from selfishness, laziness, apathy, envy, desire for material gain - every sin that the human race struggles with. my ambitions are simple: to do something big and meaningful, to show kindness and humility to friends and strangers, to be a better husband/father, to give God the opportunity to speak to me (and to listen), and to make the most of the musical passions He's given me.

more to come.