like it or not, time to try something new

I am in a somewhat-constant effort to keep life fresh. whereas some people do pretty much anything to prevent change in their lives, I kind of welcome it like the proverbial breath of fresh air. it does a couple things for me - 1) keeps me from getting bored, 2) challenges me to learn and grow and 3) keeps me from getting more comfortable than I should be. I would say #1 is definitely the main drive behind it, though.

Even still, I have sporadic desires to re-live the past - and actually repeat things I've done before and feelings that I've felt before. there are certain good things I've experienced in my life that I find myself holding onto with a firm grip. these experiences that I attempt to re-create have dug themselves into a semi-permanent place in my heart; I can't really find an alternate method of coping than trying to manipulate the variables in my life to what once was. of course, as one might predict, it is never quite the same.

there are a few things I'm referring to: certain friendships, high school life, college life, experiences being outdoors in washington, experiences in california, experiences on vacations I've taken, and experiences playing music, to be vague and brief. I know that everyone has these memories they cling to and cherish. they might even be as old as childhood. but the truth is, as I catch myself reminiscing, I have to remember that new great memories are being created in the present. and if I spend too much time thinking about the past, I'll miss out on everything great happening in front of my face.

I've come to recognize that when I feel that my life is becoming stale, it's because I'm living in the past. in fact, I realized that just now as I was writing that last sentence [I am humbled by how dense I am sometimes]. but, when I attempt to re-create the past, I am not making the most of what I have now - which is tragic.

up on the horizon, there are a few variables that may need to change. among those that seem the most pressing and impactful are looking for a different church - one with more people in a similar demographic, similar dreams/goals/passions/priorities/etc. I'm not quite sure that kind of place exists locally - we'll see. of course, those aren't the only factors we're considering, just an example. what we'd be leaving behind is 9-10 years of a church where we've been loved, mentored, and challenged by older generations - where we experienced major spiritual growth during our formative years - where we've served in music and youth ministries for 7 years - where we've made some great friends - where we've had the opportunity to mentor and love students and watch them grow up - where we've made great memories. it's not an easy thing to even think about.

from Ecclesiastes 3:

there is a "season for every activity under heaven..."
"a time to plant and a time to uproot"
"a time to keep and a time to throw away"

I don't know what lies ahead for my family, but I do recognize that we need to live life in the present. that we need to always be fresh. that we need to grow to thrive. that we need change in our lives like a splash of cold water in the face every now and again.

we will keep moving forward.